It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
