Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
