I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
