that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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