so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
