After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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