Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
