Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
