You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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