ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
