So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
