dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
