He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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