Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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