I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
