Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Send help, water and tortillas.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
