why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
bring money and cleavage
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
