Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
True strength comes from lack of pants
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
