so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
