God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
