What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Randomize
