Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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