I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
