i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
