I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Hippo gnu deer
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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