Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
