8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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