the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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