It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
