i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
