We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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