Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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