new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
