I think I just saw someone hide a body.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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