i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
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