the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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