no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
