I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
