Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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