I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
More tranny stories later!
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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