I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
