apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
