Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
