I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Are we still banned from the library?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
