it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
