found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Found the puke drawer
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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