u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
