And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
