If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i think i just lost a toe
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
