she was so not down for the gang bang
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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